Self Reflection

     Doing this project I confirmed how much the choreographer role can help me to build my confidence and make me feel surprised by the material that can come up. Moreover, I am in the progress of learning how to accept my creations and be critical of them. However, I feel that being the director is more challenging mainly when you have to push everyone to work, which is annoying knowing how talented everyone was.

Looking back now, after having sent the project, I am not a hundred per cent satisfied with the choreography of the final product. I think within the process, a lot of precision of the geometries have been missed and so has its accuracy. I wanted to make changes in the edition in order to find this precision missed, but as everything was left until the last minute, I have not been able to. However, I love the idea behind the piece as I did not realise how lucky I was to have such parents who were supporting me in my career. There is also the idea of feminism. I can barely see women directing orchestras, so I opted to contact my cousin Gemma as she has just finished her degree as an orchestra director and get more informed about her situation in this world.

     Getting at the end of the process, I was questioned for things that I explained time after time and tried to hold my professionalism as a director as I attempt to clarify their concerns. However, I was embarrassed because with the roles I had, I tried to be as clear as possible in every meeting but knowing that not everybody turned up in all of them made me feel even more anxious. Also, why did they not consider these things before and waited until the day of filming? To be fair, that whole situation made me question if I did my job properly.

However, I took everything of the process as learning and I am sure every step I did within the project has increased my knowledge about the ambit of choreographing, directing and especially about the pros and cons of working as a team. I want to emphasize communication is what I have been missing the most during the process as sharing new or contrasting ideas constantly to find what worked best for us was so important for me. So, I am going to make sure to emphasize this in my future projects.
I recognise that my main mistake has been the wanting of having everything perfect, so I wanted everyone to feel the same and I ended up taking the reins of the project. Despite this, right now I feel I did everything I could and more in this project. Although I would have liked everyone to have felt the same excitement as I had in it, I know I did my best and I am motivated to keep learning and improve as I still have a lot to work on.